There’s a lot going on right now in sports, and if you sleep you might miss a landscape-altering trade. It’s easy to overlook important things, like the one time a year Roger Goodell lets the bothersome media ask him questions.

And since this is the internet, where everybody must consume content in list form, I thought it might just be easier to rattle all the dumb shit Goodell said than try to condense it into a cohesive, thoughtful column. Also, Carron Phillips already did that, but seeing as he examined the important topic that wasn’t broached, I’ll focus on what was said.