Entertainment

The Onion Union Reaches Tentative Deal With Management, Averting Strike

Posted by February 1, 2024

A strike has been averted at The Onion and several of its sister publications, at least for now. Hours before their current labor agreement w

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‘Fox NFL Sunday’ Producers Worried Broadcast Doesn’t Feature Enough 50-To-90-Year-Old…

Posted by January 22, 2024

LOS ANGELES—As they weighed making major changes to the show, producers for Fox NFL Sunday confirmed Monday they were worried the broadcast did not feature en

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Mark Cuban Launches Company To Help NBA Owners Save Millions…

Posted by September 13, 2023

DALLAS—Saying that every team deserved access to effective and affordable players, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban announced Wednesday the launch of a compa

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Water Shortage Forcing More Golf Courses To Use Insulin

Posted by August 4, 2023

SACRAMENTO, CA—In an effort to abide by emergency conservation measures issued by the State Water Resources Control Board, golf courses in California have bee

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Biden Proves Fitness By Having Limp Body Dragged Around White…

Posted by August 4, 2023

WASHINGTON—In an effort to lay to rest questions concerning his health, President Joe Biden attempted to prove his fitness Friday by having his Secret Service

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Congress Allocates $55 Billion In Infrastructure Funding To Fill Holes…

Posted by July 28, 2023

WASHINGTON—Recognizing the need for funds to repair numerous damages after a night of drinking, Congress passed a $55 billion infrastructure bill Friday to fi

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Hollywood Actors Threaten To Disfigure Their Gorgeous Faces If Contract…

Posted by July 14, 2023

LOS ANGELES—Putting down their picket signs and picking up knives, striking SAG-AFTRA members announced Friday that they would disfigure their gorgeous faces

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White Artist Reassures Self That People Will Love Painting Of…

Posted by July 11, 2023

NEW YORK—Pushing away any lingering concerns that the portrait might stir up unintended controversy, white artist Daniel Immelmann reportedly reassured himsel

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New Economic Initiative Would Require Companies Go Back To Naming…

Posted by July 6, 2023

WASHINGTON—In an attempt by the think tank to find a model for sustainable growth of the U.S. economy, a new initiative proposed Thursday by the Economic Pol

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Denver Nuggets’ Rocky Revealed As NBA’s Highest-Paid Mascot With $625,000…

Posted by June 2, 2023

A new report revealed that the Denver Nuggets mascot, Rocky the Mountain Lion, is the NBA’s highest-paid mascot, taking home $625,000 a year, almost 10 times

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