Study: Majority Of NFL Owners Wouldn’t Let Their Children Purchase…

Posted by January 20, 2023

BOSTON—As concerns about the long-term consequences of NFL participation continue to grow, a new study released Friday found that a majority of NFL owners wou

Read More

More Companies Cutting Costs By Replacing CEOs With Prison Labor

Posted by January 18, 2023

WASHINGTON—As businesses prepare for a looming economic recession, a government report released Wednesday found that more companies have chosen to cut costs b

Read More

NFL Gravediggers Rush To Field To Bury Unconscious Player

Posted by January 1, 2023

WASHINGTON—After a particularly bad hit to the head left a member of the Commanders unresponsive, NFL gravediggers were seen rushing to the field Sunday to de

Read More

Michael Jordan Opens Up About Long-Term Effects Of Orange Gatorade…

Posted by December 22, 2022

JUPITER ISLAND, FL—Shedding light on a condition he’s been quietly struggling with since the ’90s, basketball legend Michael Jordan opened up Thursday abo

Read More

New Golf Channel Show Just 30-Minute Praising Of Saudi Royals

Posted by November 16, 2022

ORLANDO, FL—As part of an increase in programming aimed toward strengthening a relationship with a key demographic, a new Golf Channel show that debuted Tuesd

Read More

Democrats Vow To Make Better Effort To Reach Out To…

Posted by November 15, 2022

LOS ANGELES—Pledging to never again lose focus on their most important constituents, the Democratic National Committee reportedly vowed Tuesday to make a bett

Read More

Amazon Prime Acquires Broadcast Rights To NBA’s Showers

Posted by November 14, 2022

SEATTLE—Touting the new offering as essential viewing for the nation’s dedicated basketball fans, Amazon Prime announced Friday that it had acquired exclusi

Read More

NBA Scouts Salivating Over 7’1″ European Floor Sweeper

Posted by November 3, 2022

UTENA, LITHUANIA—Agreeing that the prospect had what it took to make an immediate impact at the NBA level, scouts were reportedly salivating Thursday over a

Read More

Former High School Basketball Star Lands AA Sponsorship

Posted by October 19, 2022

ATHENS, GA—Signing to one of the top recovery programs in the country, former high school basketball star Brandon Palmer landed an Alcoholics Anonymous spons

Read More

The Onion files a (real) Supreme Court brief in defense…

Posted by October 4, 2022

The Onion has some serious things to say in defense of parody.The satirical site that manages to persuade people to believe the absurd has filed a 23-pa

Read More